hide. i hide my feelings from people so they won't know. why don't i want them to know? because i don't want to be a burden. I'm done being one. I've always cried at school and my friends would pat me on my back until one day i decide myself i don't want to be like that anymore. Independent, is that what it is? No, its actually because i don't feel right having people knowing me. Right yeah no no its not like that. How do i make this simple and easier? Of course everyone needs a shoulder and a person they can cry and hug to but i don't know. I myself feel like its burden for them to help me because i cried and for them to ask me if i'm okay, it makes things worst. You see, when i don't tell them how i feel deep down, i know its not a good thing to keep it all to yourself but i have this feeling where i would keep it all together and cry, all to myself but then i know, things will better that it does not have to be this way or me feeling this way. i have that feeling.  i feel like if i keep it all to myself, i would learn how to be strong and i would probably somedays have those mental break down because too much but i honestly say, i know everything happens for a reason. it is what it is. that if something you want to don't happen, i guess that's it. That is what He wants. I know things arent always how i planned to be but if this is my fate then i have to accept and not nag on it as if i'm hating what He has written for me, because i know His plans are way better than my dreams. I don't really know if this is on point but, i'm not hiding anymore. I'm telling you, i'm here. behind the keyboard.

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