lately, a lot of people been telling me that i am a snob. specifically, a lot of boys/guys because i refuse to reply to any of their messages since they know that i am by myself now. Well not to be rude or boastful but this bugs me a lot. Makes me so mentally depressed. Its not like i don't want to or i want to it's just, the more you open up to people, the more the heart collapse. and day by day mine just keeps on going. what's the point of saying hey. what's the point of having such pointless conversation with different people. because i'd rather just have a meaningful with one. but that would be long gone because i'm done trusting guys. It makes me think twice, or triple really why do they say hey and expect me to reply and go on a conversation with them. I mean what's the point. and i am currently so scared of losing my words now because this just keeps coming. They expect a bond but won't even understand why i refuses to reply to them at first. Like if you want something, you don't just go and approach it. you know. sometimes being a wallflower is pretty worth it. How do i tell them or should i even tell them? No. i should never tell them. Then there will be the part where the judge you and they'll say, --oh that girl is so complicated she thinks im into her--. kind of part. I mean what do you really expect. You do know if the conversation keeps on going, one of us is going to fall, and i am pretty sure that i'm not falling anymore. for some awful reasons. What are the intentions they have on having a conversation?  Not being able to understand why is the person like that at first but expecting a long journey. And you would probably say, the dudes maybe have their reasons as well. Well, they do. In fact everyone does. But what are their reasons to start a conversation? To keep their time filled with joy of playing girls' heart. I'm pretty sure. Yea, i should not have say that before really knowing why but some of the dudes already have a girlfriend. Then why the hell on earth would they call me 'sweetie'. Because those are the names that makes girls fall and they know that. they also know their status but just i don't know, they won't stop. As if one is not enough. Is this what he has been doing behind me when he went out or talk to other girls? oh, thoughts and their evil army. So don't blame me for being so heartless towards people and don't say that i am a snob kind of person because i have my own reasons. and you have to be more than the whole world to change me. That means, you don't have to try. Because i myself know its impossible and for the record, i, myself, have stop trying to win my heart again.

« future past »